17 May 20266 Good Cunts2 min read
Everyone’s a Cunt: The Australian Gift That Isn’t Another Set of Coasters
If you’re still buying coasters, you’re playing it too safe. There’s nothing wrong with safe. It just doesn’t get remembered. And gifts should be remembered.
There’s a point in every Australian’s life where you realise the gift industry has completely lost its shizzle.
You don’t need another candle that smells like “ocean breeze and regret.”
You don’t need another mug that says “World’s Best Mum.”
And you definitely don’t need another set of coasters that will disappear into a drawer next to the other six sets of coasters you’ve never used.
What you actually need is something honest. Something funny. Something that makes people laugh before they even finish unwrapping it.
That’s where Everyone’s a Cunt comes in.
It’s not trying to be delicate. It’s not trying to be inspirational. It’s just calling it how it is, in a very Aussie way.
The Problem With “Normal” Australian Gifts
Most gifts fall into two categories:
- Painfully generic.
- Hallmark schmaltzy.
Somewhere in the middle is a void where personality should be. That’s where most “Aussie giftware” lives. Think koala fridge magnets, beach towels no one asked for, and enough novelty socks to clothe a small nation.
The issue isn’t that they’re bad. It’s that they’re forgettable.
A good gift should get a reaction. Not a polite nod. Not a “thanks, this is lovely.” A proper laugh. Maybe even a double take.
Why This Book Hits Different
Everyone’s a Cunt isn’t just a book. It’s a conversation starter, a boundary pusher, and a brutally honest reflection of human behaviour wrapped in humour.
It works because it doesn’t pretend people are perfect. It leans into what everyone already knows but rarely says out loud.
That’s why it lands.
It’s the kind of gift that gets opened at a barbecue and suddenly the whole table is involved. It’s the thing someone leaves on the coffee table just to see who reacts first.
And unlike coasters, it actually gets used.
A Gift That Actually Feels Personal
The best gifts feel like they were chosen, not grabbed.
This one feels intentional. Like you picked it because you know the person well enough to know they can take a joke.
It suits:
- Birthdays where no one agreed on a theme
- Secret Santa situations that have gone off the rails
- Housewarming gifts that need personality
- “I saw this and thought of you” moments
- People who are sick of receiving polite rubbish
Why Funny Gifts Win Every Time
Humour cuts through clutter.
People forget generic gifts within days. They remember the thing that made them laugh so hard they nearly spilled their drink.
That’s the difference.
Funny gifts don’t just sit there. They get talked about. They get passed around. They end up on group chats with captions like “this is so you it hurts.”
That’s the point.