Everyone's a Cunt: The Coffee Table Book Nobody Asked For But Everyone Needs

There comes a point in life when you realise a universal truth.

Not everyone is a hero.

Not everyone is an inspiration.

And not everyone deserves access to the "Reply All" button.

In fact, after enough family Christmases, workplace meetings, Facebook comment sections and supermarket car parks, you eventually arrive at one unavoidable conclusion:

Everyone's a Cunt.

Some people are magnificent cunts.

Some are accidental cunts.

Some are professional grade, Olympic level cunts who seem to wake up each morning and ask themselves, "How can I make today slightly worse for everyone around me?"

This is the premise behind Everyone's a Cunt, the coffee table book that's rapidly becoming Australia's favourite conversation starter.

Not a Self-Help Book

Let's clear something up immediately.

This is not one of those books that teaches mindfulness.

It won't help you unlock your inner potential.

It won't explain how to become a millionaire before breakfast.

And there are absolutely no chapters about manifesting abundance while sitting cross-legged on a mountain.

Instead, Everyone's a Cunt offers something far more valuable.

A laugh.

Because sometimes the healthiest response to modern life is simply acknowledging that people are ridiculous.

The Perfect Coffee Table Upgrade

Most coffee tables host the same collection of items.

A remote control.

Three coasters nobody uses.

A decorative candle that's never been lit.

And a book so boring that guests actively avoid making eye contact with it.

Everyone's a Cunt changes all that.

People pick it up.

They laugh.

They show their friends.

They start naming people they know.

Sometimes they even realise they're featured in the book. 

The entertainment value is immediate.

The awkward conversations are priceless.

A Gift for People Who Have Everything

Buying gifts is hard.

By adulthood, most people already own the things they need.

Another mug? No thanks.

Socks? Exciting.

A scented candle called "Ocean Breeze and Regret"? Pass.

But a book called Everyone's a Cunt?

Now you've got their attention.

It's the perfect gift for birthdays, Christmas, housewarmings, retirement parties, Secret Santa exchanges, and that mate who already owns every tool known to humanity.

Surprisingly Educational

Hidden beneath the laughs is a fascinating observation about human nature.

We all have moments.

We all make mistakes.

We've all accidentally become the villain in somebody else's story.

One minute you're judging someone for being a dickhead.

The next minute you're holding up traffic because you missed your turn.

Life comes at you fast.

Everyone's a Cunt doesn't judge.

It simply observes.

And occasionally points and laughs.

Why People Keep Sharing It

The internet is full of forgettable content.

You scroll past thousands of posts every day.

Most disappear from your memory before your thumb reaches the next swipe.

But people remember things that make them laugh.

That's why readers keep posting photos of Everyone's a Cunt in living rooms, offices, workshops, campsites, airports and holiday destinations around the world.

The title alone starts conversations.

The content keeps them going.

And the reactions are often funnier than the book itself.

The Verdict

If you're looking for profound wisdom, there are plenty of books for that.

If you're looking for a reminder that humanity is gloriously flawed, endlessly entertaining and occasionally impossible to deal with, you've found it.

Everyone's a Cunt is funny, honest, relatable and refreshingly free of corporate buzzwords.

Because sometimes the simplest explanation is the correct one.

Everyone's a Cunt.

Including us.

Especially us.

And that's exactly why it's funny.

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