Forget Netflix and Chill. It's Time for Everyone's a Cunt and Chill.

The Endless Scroll Is the Real Villain

We've all been there. "Want to watch something?" "Sure."

Forty three minutes later, you've read every synopsis, watched six trailers, accidentally started a documentary about Icelandic moss and somehow decided you'll "just go to bed."

Modern entertainment has become less about watching something and more about professionally procrastinating.

Meanwhile, Everyone's a Cunt has been sitting on the coffee table the whole time, quietly waiting to save the evening.

Introducing: Everyone's a Cunt and Chill

The rules are simple. Open the book. Read a page. Laugh. Look at the person next to you. Say, "That's definitely Ben.” 

Repeat until someone says, "Hang on... is this one about me?" Congratulations.

You've officially had more fun than the last three movie nights combined.

No Buffering. No Password Sharing. No "Are You Still Watching?"

Books don't ask annoying questions.

They don't freeze halfway through the best bit.

They don't disappear because somebody cancelled the subscription.

Everyone's a Cunt is always ready. No updates. No Wi-Fi. No one texting, "Can I borrow your login?"

Just page after page of painfully familiar personalities that'll have everyone pointing fingers while pretending they aren't guilty of the exact same behaviour.

The Ultimate Date Night Test

Forget expensive restaurants. Forget awkward small talk. Hand your date Everyone's a Cunt.

If they laugh until they snort, they're probably your kind of person.

If they immediately start assigning every profile to people they know, they're definitely your kind of person.

If they quietly close the book after recognising themselves on page thirteen... Well. At least you've learned something important early.

Perfect for Mates' Nights Too

A couple of drinks. A cheese platter that looked more impressive in your head. Someone reads a profile aloud. Within seconds, the room erupts.

"That's Gaz." "No, that's your brother." "Actually... that's you."

Suddenly everyone's defending themselves in a trial nobody agreed to attend.

It's less of a book and more of a social experiment with swear words.

Warning: Side Effects May Include...

Uncontrollable laughter. Accidentally exposing your friendship group's biggest personalities. Saying, "I know exactly who this is."

Realising someone is probably saying the same thing about you.

And replacing "Want to watch something?" with: "Wanna crack open Everyone's a Cunt?"

The Best Nights Don't Need a Remote

Some nights deserve explosions, dragons and billion dollar special effects.

Other nights just need good people, a few drinks and a book that's brutally honest about the wonderfully outrageous species known as humans.

So next time someone suggests Netflix and chill... Smile politely.

Slide Everyone's a Cunt across the table.

Because the funniest entertainment isn't on a streaming service.

It's sitting right there on your coffee table.

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