47 Reasons You Should Own Everyone’s a Cunt

You could buy another beige candle.

Or.

You could own the book that makes visitors laugh before they’ve even sat down.

Here are 47 perfectly reasonable, mildly questionable reasons to own Everyone’s a Cunt.

1. Your coffee table has been playing it safe for too long. It deserves a little character.
2. It instantly upgrades “nice house” into “interesting human lives here.”
   
3. Guests stop saying: “Lovely cushions.” And start saying: “What is THAT?”
4. It doubles as a personality test. Who laughs?Who gasps? Who quietly reads the whole thing in the corner?
5. It’s cheaper than therapy and faster than self help.
6. You finally own a book your mates actually pick up.
   
7. It turns awkward silences into comedy.
8. Great for people who say: “I don’t really read.”Congratulations. You do now.
9. Makes an excellent gift for: Birthdays. Christmas. Housewarmings. Divorces. Tuesday.
10. It’s the literary equivalent of saying: “We’re all a bit cooked and that’s fine.”
11. Looks suspiciously fancy on a coffee table.
12. Confuses minimalist interior designers.
13. Gives visitors something to do while waiting for snacks.
14. You can pretend it’s social commentary. Because technically… it is.
15. It’s one of the few books that can make someone laugh and feel seen.
16. Ideal for people who enjoy honesty with extra spice.
17. Your bookshelf needs a troublemaker.
    
18. It has more personality than decorative driftwood. No offence to driftwood.
19. Makes gift shopping ridiculously easy. Friend has a sense of humour? Done.
20. You’ll hear: “Where did you get this?Approximately 4,236 times.
21.  It proves books don’t need to whisper. Some books enter quietly. This one kicks the door open.
22. Excellent conversation starter. Potential conversation topics include: humanity, life choices, and Steve from accounting.
23. Your in-laws will either love it or remember it forever. Both are wins.
24. Makes a surprisingly good icebreaker.
25. Pairs well with coffee. Also wine. Especially wine.
26. It reminds us nobody has life fully figured out. Not even the people posting motivational sunrise photos.
27. The title does 90% of the work.
28. It’s rebellious without trying too hard.
29. Perfect for people who appreciate humour with heart.
30. Makes “boring gift giver” allegations impossible.
31. Your houseplants deserve entertainment too.
32. It says: “I have taste.”
33. Better than another novelty mug. The world has enough mugs. Emotionally and physically.
34. It survives trends. Minimalism fades. Funny lasts.
35. You’ll accidentally create fans. Someone borrows it. Suddenly they’re buying copies. Book based peer pressure.
36. It belongs in holiday houses.
    
37. It belongs in offices. Risk assessment pending.
38. It belongs in waiting rooms. For absolute maximum confusion.
39. It reminds us humans are ridiculous. In the nicest possible way.
40. Because perfection is boring.
41. It makes people laugh at themselves.
42. It turns a coffee table into a destination.
43. It’s memorable. Nobody walks away saying:“Remember that beige candle?”
44. It gives your home a sense of humour.
    
45. It celebrates the wonderfully messy human experience.
    
46. It’s the gift people talk about afterwards. Usually loudly.
47. Because deep down…

We’ve all met one.

Been one.

Loved one.

And occasionally are one before coffee.

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