How to Give Everyone’s a Cunt as a Corporate Gift

Most corporate gifts die a quiet death. They get opened politely, nodded at, and then shoved into a cupboard next to a branded stubby holder from 2019.

So when someone rocks up with something that actually makes people laugh, it tends to land differently. Not because it’s polished, but because it’s honest in a way corporate gifts usually aren’t.

Everyone’s a Cunt sits in that space. It’s not trying to behave. Which is exactly why it works in the right context.

Don’t pretend it’s something it’s not

If you try to dress Everyone’s a Cunt up as “thought leadership” or “industry commentary,” it gets weird fast.

Just own it. It’s a funny book. It’s blunt. It’s meant to get a reaction. That’s the point.

People are far more comfortable with honesty than they are with awkward over explaining.

Pick your moment properly

This matters more than the gift itself.

Good times to gift it:

• After a tough project where everyone’s run on caffeine and spite
• End of year when people are over polite gifting season
• A team that already communicates like adults and doesn’t need hand holding

Bad times:

• First week in a new role
• Formal client relationships that still use “Dear Sir/Madam” energy
• Any setting where people are still figuring out what’s acceptable

Include a simple note

Don’t overthink this. A sentence is enough.

Something like:
“Thought you’d get a laugh out of this. Bit different from the usual work gifts.”

That’s it. No speech. No justification. No essay.

Know your crowd

This isn’t for every workplace, and that’s fine.

It lands best with people who:

• Don’t take themselves too seriously
• Have an actual sense of humour at work, not just in theory
• Can tell the difference between insult and satire

If you’re unsure, you probably shouldn’t give it.

Why people actually remember it

Most gifts are background noise. This one isn’t.

Not because it’s shocking, but because it breaks pattern. It interrupts the predictable cycle of candles, wine, and branded items nobody asked for.

And in corporate environments, anything that cuts through that noise tends to stick in people’s heads longer than it probably should.

The goal of a corporate gift isn’t to be perfect. It’s to be remembered for the right reason.

Most gifts disappear into drawers. The rare ones get talked about later. Usually not because they were safe, but because they felt like a real person picked them.

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