10 Signs You’re Dealing With a Bona Fide Good Cunt

Not all cunts are created equal.

Some cunts cut you off in traffic, leave shopping trolleys in the middle of car parks and reply “no worries” after causing a problem they absolutely should be worried about.

Then there are the rare ones. The legends.

The people who restore your faith in humanity one small act of kindness, loyalty, or generosity at a time.

The bona fide good cunts.

A good cunt isn’t defined by money, job titles, followers, or how many inspirational quotes they post on Instagram. A good cunt is defined by what they do when nobody is watching.

They’re the mate who answers the phone at midnight. The colleague who helps without needing credit. The stranger who holds the door open while you’re carrying seventeen shopping bags.

So how do you know you’ve found one?

Here are 10 signs you’re dealing with a certified good cunt.

1. They Show Up When It Actually Matters

Anyone can be around when things are fun.

Everyone loves being your mate when you’re celebrating, shouting beers, or telling hilarious stories after three wines.

The true test is when life gets messy.

Good cunts are the ones who turn up when you’re moving house, having a shocker, dealing with a breakup, or desperately need someone to tell you that cutting your own fringe is a terrible idea.

They don’t just say, “Let me know if you need anything.”

They actually show up.

2. They Give Credit Instead of Taking It

A good cunt doesn’t need to be the loudest person in the room.

They’re comfortable letting others shine.

They’ll celebrate your wins without secretly comparing them to their own. They’ll recommend you for opportunities. They’ll tell people about your achievements when you’re not there to hear it.

Because good cunts don’t see life as a competition.

They see it as a team sport.

3. They Tell You the Truth (Even When It Hurts)

A fake friend tells you what you want to hear.

A good cunt tells you what you need to hear.

They’re the person who says:

“Mate, I love you, but that’s an absolutely whacked idea.”

They’ll call you out when you’re being an dickhead, but they’ll stand beside you while you figure it out.

Honesty with loyalty is as rare as hen’s teeth.

4. They Remember the Little Things

Good cunts pay attention.

They remember your coffee order. They ask about your dog. They remember the name of your boss who annoyed you six months ago.

They don’t do it because they’re trying to impress you.

They do it because they genuinely give a shit.

5. They Treat Everyone Like They Matter

Watch how someone treats people who can’t do anything for them.

That tells you everything.

A bona fide good cunt is respectful to the waiter, kind to strangers, patient with customer service staff, and doesn’t suddenly become a different person when there’s no audience.

Character isn’t how you behave when people are watching.

It’s how you behave when nobody cares.

6. They Can Laugh at Themselves

A good cunt doesn’t take themselves too seriously.

They can admit when they’re wrong. They can tell embarrassing stories about themselves. They can cop a bit of friendly roasting without immediately needing a safe space and a mental health day. 

They understand the golden rule:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, someone else will.

7. They Celebrate Your Weirdness

Everyone is strange.

Some people just hide it better.

Good cunts don’t make you feel like you need to edit yourself. They appreciate your quirks, your terrible jokes, your questionable music taste and your oddly specific hobbies.

They don’t want a perfect version of you.

They want the real one.

8. They Help Without Keeping Score

A good cunt doesn’t have a spreadsheet titled:

“Things I’ve Done For This Person Since 2007.”

They help because helping people is just what they do.

They don’t keep receipts. They keep friendships.

9. They Make Ordinary Moments Better

Some people walk into a room and immediately improve it.

Not because they’re trying to be the centre of attention.

Because they bring good energy.

They make boring conversations funny. They turn quick catch ups into hours of laughing. They somehow make standing around a barbecue drinking cheap beer feel like an event worth remembering.

That’s a gift.

10. People Speak Highly of Them When They’re Not There

This is the ultimate test.

What do people say about you when you leave the room?

A bona fide good cunt has people saying things like:

“Yeah, they’re a bloody good person.”

“They’d do anything for you.”

“They’re one of the good ones.”

No awards. No trophies. No LinkedIn endorsements.

Just a reputation built one decent act at a time.

Good Cunts Are Rare. Keep Them Close.

In a world full of people trying to look important, good cunts are busy being useful.

They don’t need recognition. They don’t need applause. They don’t need to announce how generous, loyal or kind they are.

You can tell.

Because being a good cunt isn’t a personality trait. It’s a lifestyle.

So if you’ve got a good cunt in your life, appreciate them.

Buy them a beer. Send them a message.

Or better yet, tell them directly:

“You’re a bloody good cunt.”

They’ll probably laugh.

Because that’s exactly what a good cunt does.

Discover more research, questionable language and surprisingly accurate observations in Everyone’s a Cunt by 6 Good Cunts.

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