Book Lovers Day: For People Who Love Books, Laughing and Judging Other People

There are two types of people on Book Lovers Day.

People who have a beautifully curated bookshelf containing 400 books they have actually read.

And liars.

The rest of us have a slightly more complicated relationship with books.

We buy them with good intentions. We put them on the bedside table. We read 17 pages. We fall asleep. Six months later, we buy another book because this one is definitely going to be different.

Then there are the people who own so many books they have started stacking them horizontally because the bookshelf gave up sometime around 2021.

And we respect that. Because books are bloody brilliant.

They can teach you something, make you laugh, break your heart, transport you somewhere completely different or convince you that getting out of bed at 5am to become a better version of yourself is a genuinely good idea.

Then there are books like Everyone’s a Cunt.

And frankly, sometimes you don't need personal growth.

Sometimes you need to identify exactly what sort of cunt your boss is.

Happy Book Lovers Day, You Magnificent Bookish Bastards

Book Lovers Day is the perfect excuse to celebrate the humble book.

The novels you couldn't put down. The biographies you pretended you'd finish. The cookbook you bought because you were briefly convinced you'd become the sort of person who makes sourdough. The self-help book that told you to stop procrastinating, which you haven't opened since.

And the book you bought purely because the cover made you laugh.

Enter Everyone’s a Cunt.

Because not every book needs to help you discover your purpose, understand the meaning of life or teach you how to make a Tuscan bean stew.

Some books exist for a much more important reason:

To make you laugh at the absolute fucking circus of people around you.

There Are Many Types of Book Lovers

The Bookworm owns a library. Not a bookshelf. A library.

They know exactly where every book is, what year it was published and whether you have returned the one you borrowed in 2018. You haven't. They're still angry.

Then there's The Collector.

They don't necessarily read the books.

They simply acquire them.

“This looks interesting.” Into the basket. “This has a nice cover.” Into the basket. “I've heard this is brilliant.” Into the basket.

“Have I read the last seven books I bought? Absolutely fucking not.

There's The Literary Snob.

They don't read books. They consume literature.

They'll casually mention something they read by an obscure European author and then look mildly disappointed when you admit you've never heard of them.

There's The Bedtime Reader.

They read exactly four pages every night before the eyelids become heavier than a Bunnings trolley full of pavers.

Then there's The Phone Reader.

They tell everyone they're reading a book. They're actually on Facebook Marketplace looking at a 2008 Hilux.

And finally, we have The Recommender.

This person will recommend a book to you regardless of whether you've asked.

“Mate, you've got to read this, you'd love it.” You probably wouldn't.

“It's changed my life.” You were perfectly happy with your life before this conversation.

But there is one type of reader we haven't mentioned.

The person who just wants to laugh.

Not Every Book Needs to Change Your Life

Some books are designed to educate you. Some inspire you. Some make you cry. Some make you smarter.

And some make you look across the dinner table at your partner and think:

“Hang on. Page 47 is literally describing you.”

Everyone’s a Cunt by 6 Good Cunts is an Australian satirical coffee table book for exactly this purpose.

It's funny. It's rude. It's painfully relatable.

And, most importantly, it has the uncanny ability to make you recognise people you know.

Possibly yourself. Although, obviously, you're one of the good ones. Probably.

The book features satirical profiles of different types of cunts, complete with observations, behaviours, survival strategies, spirit animals and the highly scientific Cuntability Rating™.

Because apparently nobody had previously thought to quantify how much of a cunt someone actually is.

Until now.

The Perfect Book for People Who Don't Read Books

You don't actually have to be a massive reader to enjoy Everyone’s a Cunt.

In fact, it might be the perfect book for someone who doesn't read books.

Why? Because you can open it anywhere.

There is no complicated plot.

Nobody is going to die mysteriously in a country house and require you to remember which character was holding the candlestick.

You simply pick it up, open a page and start laughing.

It's basically the literary equivalent of walking into the pub and hearing your mate say something so outrageously accurate that beer comes out your nose.

And that's exactly what makes it such a good coffee table book.

Leave it sitting there. Someone will pick it up. They'll flick through it. They'll laugh. Then they'll find a profile that reminds them of someone.

“Fucking hell. This is Dave.”

Then they'll find another.

“Jesus. This is actually Karen.”

Then another.

“Hang on. This one's me.”

And that's when the book becomes dangerous.

Because suddenly everyone in the room is being diagnosed.

The Ultimate Book Lovers Day Gift

Trying to buy a book for someone can be risky.

You don't want to give your mum a psychological thriller if she hasn't slept properly since 1998.

You don't want to give your mate a self-help book because they'll assume you're trying to tell them something.

And you definitely don't want to give your boss How to Be a Better Manager unless you're prepared to spend the next six months having uncomfortable conversations.

But Everyone’s a Cunt?

That's different. It's a conversation starter. It's a laugh. It's something people can pick up and immediately understand.

And at $49.95, it's the sort of gift that says:

“I thought about you.”

Without necessarily saying:

“I think you're a cunt.”

Although, depending on who you're buying it for, that may be precisely what you're saying.

It's a great Book Lovers Day gift for:

• Your funniest mate

• Your partner

• Your brother or sister

• The colleague who has seen too much

• The friend with absolutely no filter

• Your favourite shit-stirrer

• The person who already owns everything

• The person who claims they don't like reading

• Anyone who thinks Australian humour has become far too polite

And, obviously, yourself.

Because buying a book for yourself isn't selfish.

It's literary self-care.

The Best Part? You Get to Diagnose Everyone Else

One of the great pleasures of Everyone’s a Cunt is recognising the people around you.

There's always one. The mate who turns every story into a story about himself.

The person who says “I'm not racist, but...” and then absolutely fucking ruins dinner.

The colleague who sends an email marked URGENT about something that could have waited until Thursday.

The neighbour who treats their leaf blower like a professional landscaping contract.

The bloke who says he's “just popping in for one” and arrives home at 2am smelling like beer, regret and a kebab.

The person who replies “K” to a three-paragraph message.

The friend who is somehow late to their own plans.

They're all out there.

And Everyone’s a Cunt gives you the vocabulary to identify them.

More importantly, it gives you something to do with that information.

Laugh.

Because sometimes that's all you can do.

So, What Are You Reading This Book Lovers Day?

Maybe you're reading a bestseller. Maybe you're reading a classic. Maybe you're reading something intellectually stimulating that will broaden your horizons.

Or maybe you're reading Everyone’s a Cunt and discovering that the bloke you've known for 15 years is apparently a Grade-A Fuckwit with strong tendencies towards Cuntish Behaviour.

Honestly? We'd take the latter.

Because books don't always have to be serious.

They don't always need to teach us something.

Sometimes they just need to make us laugh.

And sometimes the best thing about a book is putting it down, looking at someone you know and saying:

“I've found your spirit animal.”

Celebrate Book Lovers Day Properly

This Book Lovers Day, celebrate the books that make you smarter.

Celebrate the books that make you cry. Celebrate the books that inspire you. And absolutely celebrate the books that make you question how many of your friends you should probably stop inviting to dinner.

Everyone’s a Cunt is a premium Australian hardcover coffee table book created by 6 Good Cunts and packed with the sort of irreverent humour that makes you want to shove it under someone's nose and say:

“Read this. This is fucking you.”

The first print run sold out, so clearly Australia has already established that there is a significant market for literary research into human dickheadery.

And who are we to argue with science?

So go on. Buy one for yourself. Buy one for your mate. Buy one for the person who already has everything.

Buy one for the bloke who thinks he's God's gift to humanity. Buy one for the colleague who needs to be professionally assessed. Buy one for the friend who says they don't read.

And, if you're feeling particularly generous, buy one for the cunt who inspired the entire purchase.

Because Book Lovers Day only comes around once a year.

But unfortunately, cunts are everywhere.

Get Everyone’s a Cunt

A premium Australian satirical coffee table book for anyone who appreciates good books, bad behaviour and calling bullshit when they see it.

Buy the book. Find the cunt. Have a laugh.

Because life's too short to read boring books.

And let's be honest...you already know at least six cunts who need a copy.