Everyone's a Cunt: The Book That's Started More Arguments Than Group Chats

There are two types of people in the world.

People who laugh the second they see the title.

And people who say, "You can't call a book that."

Everyone's a Cunt isn't trying to offend everyone. It's trying to do something much harder.

Make everyone laugh at themselves.

Because let's face it. Every workplace has one. Every family barbecue has three. Every neighbourhood Facebook group has at least forty seven. The person who parks across two bays. The bloke who suddenly became an expert after watching one YouTube video. The friend who says, "I'm five minutes away," while still in the shower.

This book isn't about judging people.

It's about finally giving them the scientific recognition they deserve.

A Guide to Modern Humanity

Forget birds. Forget wildlife.

Australia's most fascinating species has been hiding in plain sight.

The Loud Pub Philosopher. The LinkedIn Visionary. The "Reply All" Enthusiast. The person who claps when the plane lands.

Each one lovingly observed. Carefully documented. Mildly roasted.

David Attenborough would probably whisper, "Extraordinary."

The Coffee Table Book Nobody Leaves Alone

Most coffee table books are opened once.

Guests politely flip through three pages before pretending to admire the architecture.

Everyone's a Cunt is different.

People pick it up. Laugh. Read something aloud.

Someone immediately says, "Mate... that's Dave." Then Dave arrives. Now everyone's involved.

It's less of a book and more of a legally acceptable social experiment.

The Gift That Actually Gets Passed Around

Buying presents is exhausting. Candles smell nice. Wine disappears. Gift cards scream, "I panicked."

But a book that makes an entire room laugh? That's remembered.

Birthdays. Christmas. Housewarmings. Father's Day. Secret Santa. Divorce celebrations. New job. Lost job. Job you've emotionally checked out of.

There really isn't a wrong occasion. Except maybe a funeral. Read the room.

The Reviews We Didn't Expect

People have told us they bought one copy.

Then realised they needed another because a mate "borrowed" it.

Others bought it as a joke.

Now it's sitting proudly on their coffee table next to expensive art books, confusing visitors daily.

One reader said they laughed so hard they had to put the book down.

Their partner thought they'd received bad news.

Technically, they had. They'd just recognised themselves.

Why Everyone Keeps Sharing It

The internet rewards one thing above everything else.

Things people immediately send to their mates.

That's why pages from Everyone's a Cunt keep ending up in group chats.

Because everyone knows someone. Sometimes several someones. Occasionally... themselves.

The best satire doesn't punch down. It hands everyone a mirror. Then quietly walks away.

Fair Warning

This book isn't for people who think mayonnaise is spicy.

It's not for people who email "Per my last email."

It's definitely not for anyone who says, "I don't really swear."

Everyone else? Pull up a chair.

You might just find your favourite person inside.

Or discover you've unknowingly been the office cunt all along.

Either way, that's character development.

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