Cuntributions: Because Apparently Someone Had to Say It

There are plenty of blogs on the internet. There are blogs about wellness. Blogs about productivity. Blogs about finding your purpose. Blogs written by people who wake up at 4:30am, drink something green, journal for 47 minutes and somehow have the emotional strength to meditate before answering emails.

This isn't one of those blogs.

Welcome to Cuntributions.

The official corner of 6 Good Cunts dedicated to the stuff that makes us laugh, pisses us off, makes us question humanity and occasionally makes us wonder how some people have managed to get this far without adult supervision.

What the fuck is a Cuntribution?

A Cuntribution is what happens when someone has an observation they simply can't keep to themselves.

It's a contribution from a cunt. About cunts. For cunts. And occasionally at the expense of cunts.

It's where we take the everyday things everyone notices but nobody bothers saying out loud and give them the attention they probably don't deserve.

Because let's be honest, human behaviour is fucking fascinating.

We queue incorrectly.

We park like we're fleeing a crime scene.

We send emails with "Just circling back" when what we really mean is "ANSWER ME, YOU ABSOLUTE CUNT."

We say "no worries" while being extremely worried.

We tell people we'll "definitely catch up soon" knowing full well that neither party has any intention of making that happen.

We put an empty milk carton back in the fridge.

We walk three abreast on footpaths.

We reply "K" when we're furious.

And somehow, despite all of this, we continue to consider ourselves perfectly normal.

That's Cuntributions.

A blog about the important things in life

Not important in the traditional sense. We're not here to solve geopolitics. We're not going to tell you how to become a better version of yourself.

And we're certainly not going to suggest you manifest your dream life by writing your goals on a piece of recycled cardboard while staring meaningfully into the sunrise.

We're interested in the important things.

Like why the person who says "I'm not a morning person" somehow has the energy to talk at you for 23 minutes before you've had coffee.

Why every family has someone who starts a sentence with "I'm not racist, but..."

Why people who are chronically late always seem genuinely surprised when everyone else is annoyed.

Why the bloke who insists he doesn't like drama somehow knows absolutely everything about everyone's business.

Why someone can spend $14 on a coffee without blinking but suddenly become a forensic accountant when it's time to split the restaurant bill.

And why every group chat eventually contains one person who sends 17 messages instead of one.

These are the mysteries that matter.

Cuntributions isn't here to behave

That's probably the easiest way to explain it.

6 Good Cunts was never built around the idea that everything needs to be polite, polished and approved by a committee.

The whole point of Everyone's a Cunt is that people are ridiculous.

Not some people. People. Including us.

The book takes aim at the good, the bad, the annoying, the hilarious and the painfully familiar characters we encounter in everyday life. It's equal opportunity judgement, with enough self awareness to admit that none of us gets completely off the hook.

Cuntributions carries that same spirit beyond the pages of the book.

Because Australia has a special relationship with taking the piss

Australians have never been particularly good at pretending we're impressed.

Someone becomes too important? We take the piss.

Someone gets too full of themselves? We take the piss.

Someone gives themselves a ridiculous job title? We take the piss.

Someone says they're an "entrepreneurial visionary"? We're probably already writing the group chat message.

There's something wonderfully democratic about Australian humour.

It doesn't necessarily matter how successful you are. How much money you've got. How many followers you have. How impressive your LinkedIn profile looks.

You can be CEO, celebrity, tradie, politician, influencer or bloke who still owes his mate $20 from 2019.

If you're acting like a dickhead, someone is going to notice. And Cuntributions intends to notice.

We're interested in the grey areas

Here's the thing about calling someone a cunt.

Sometimes it's an insult. Sometimes it's an observation. Sometimes it's an expression of profound affection. Sometimes it's the highest compliment an Australian can give another human being.

"He's a good cunt."

That's not a character assassination. That's practically a knighthood.

The word changes depending on the person, the situation, the tone, the relationship and how much you've had to drink.

That's what makes it interesting.

Because Cuntributions isn't really about the word. It's about people. The weird ones. The wonderful ones. The exhausting ones. The ones who make you laugh. The ones who make you question your choices. The ones you would happily drive six hours to help move house. And the ones you would happily drive six hours in the opposite direction to avoid.

A place for the observations that shouldn't be ignored

Cuntributions is where we'll explore Australian humour, social behaviour, ridiculous everyday situations, cultural quirks, modern life and the wonderfully inconsistent creatures who inhabit it.

Some Cuntributions will make you laugh. Some might piss you off. Some might make you think. Some might make you send the link to someone with absolutely no explanation.

And some will probably make you say:

"Fuck. I know exactly who this is about."

That's generally a good sign.

You might even recognise yourself

That's the dangerous bit.

It's very easy to laugh at the annoying cunt in the queue. Until you realise you've been standing in the wrong queue for ten minutes.

It's easy to judge the person who never replies to messages. Until you find 46 unread texts on your own phone.

It's easy to complain about people who talk too much. Until someone points out that you've been telling the same story since 2018.

We're all capable of being magnificent cunts.

We're also all capable of being absolute legends.

Usually before lunch.

That's the beauty of being human. We're inconsistent. We're complicated. We're occasionally hypocritical. We're sometimes selfish and sometimes generous. We fuck up. We redeem ourselves. We make questionable decisions.

Then we make even worse decisions after a couple of wines and call it character development.

So why Cuntributions?

Because the internet doesn't need another blog telling you how to optimise your morning routine.

It needs someone to explain why the bloke who walks into a revolving door and then blames the door is probably a cunt.

It needs someone to investigate why "I'll only have one" has caused more lies than international diplomacy.

It needs somewhere to discuss the phenomenon of people who stand directly in front of supermarket shelves while contemplating their entire existence.

It needs somewhere to celebrate the good cunts too.

The mate who turns up without being asked. The stranger who helps with your trolley. The person who quietly pays for someone's coffee. The friend who answers the phone at 2am. The person who tells you the truth when everyone else is too scared to.

Because being a good cunt is worth talking about.

In fact, it's probably worth talking about more.

Consider this your invitation

Cuntributions isn't trying to change the world.

We're just trying to make it slightly more entertaining.

It's a place for opinions, observations, stories, laughs and the occasional brutally accurate description of someone you absolutely know.

You might agree. You might disagree. You might be offended. You might laugh.

You might send it to your mate with the words:

"This is fucking you."

All acceptable outcomes.

Because at 6 Good Cunts, we don't believe everyone needs to agree.

We just think everyone should have a good laugh while they're disagreeing.

So pour yourself a coffee.

Pour yourself something stronger if it's that sort of day.

Have a look around Cuntributions.

And remember:

Everyone's a Cunt.

The trick is working out what kind.

 

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